*sad*

I'm just really sad... how will I ever get rid of this depression? :(

I just want you to know....

I'm incredibly sad.... :(

I don't know what I am doing in life or why I am not allowed to do what I want to do? Why can't I just be happy like everyone else? Why must I suffer so that other people can be happy?

I just want to go away.......

So depressed

why am i so stupid eh? i cant even do simple things - don't even know how to ask question.... and just a total marshmallow... why must i take everything so easily.. i am so pathetic....

how come i'm so depressed....

Politik~

Hmm. All this political crap? No I don't get it. People who know me would probably know why. It isn't that I don't care but I do feel as though a lot of people are just jumping in to a moving boat. What about when the boat wasn't moving??? Did you bother to help push it out into open sea?

Rubbish if you ask me. I don't really care what happens really.... But I do feel the rubbishness of all these 'jumping into the boat' people.

You speak English ar??

I am trying to Malaysianify the American so recently I decided that I would online Manglish with him. Suddenly he totally surprised me:

Francisco says:
can I get this shirt?
Francisco says:
*insert link*
pin~* says:
wassat?
Francisco says:
a shirt la

WAHHH! For a moment I almost forgot I was talking to an American. *so proud*

Then he did even better. Since he was getting so used to it, I suggested even Manglish talking on the phone with him. His reply?

pin~* says:
what if i spoke on the phone in manglish with you
pin~* says:
will you understand me?
Francisco says:
if you do it slowly
Francisco says:
but if cannot understand not my fault ma

WAHHH I SO BANGGA! :DDDDD

A black year~

Ok, so it seems as though it's a really black year.... First, Lewis Hamilton wins by some trick hat then Barrack Obama wins. You know I really am no racist and I have no problems with black people. In fact, I am recently obsessed with Taye Diggs who I think is so SEXY and HOT! *sizzle* Well, maybe that's the problem... I think neither Lewis Hamilton nor Barrack Obama is hot. In fact, just putting them in the same sentence is just....plain... gross.

Ok, so I've never liked Lewis Hamilton...........

Ok that was a lie. Let me try again.

So I've never liked Lewis Hamilton since he became an F1 driver and gave my Alonso crap. HOW DARE HE! =) Ok, that sounds better. Truth was Lewis Hamilton shattered my McLaren dreams. How evil of him. So I will never support him though I will always support my Ron. But then again, Ron and him are having some sort of psuedo sexual relationship... so EW

Second of all, I supported John McCain cause HE was hot. (I'm kidding lah! Ok well, maybe not so much. I did think he was hot but that wasn't the reason why I supported him.) I thought America needed a little more control than all this change crap. Luckily, I am not American. So I couldn't care less about it.

Problem is, everyone cares too much. Everyone is going 'Ooooh Hamilton, last corner! WOW!' and 'O-Bama will bring change blah blah blah'.

Ok, ok. They won. Alonso lost. McCain lost. I geddit. Move on.

Chances Are

Chances are you'll find me somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you it just seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply

I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked the night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer all I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best, I've ever met

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing
For the night, for the night

- Vonda Shepard and Robert Downey Jr : Chances Are -

Chances are, I am not cut out to do this. That I am just too weak to carry on. And when I look at the bleak future ahead of a few months a year meetings, it does nothing to calm my crying heart. Chances are, I can't do this if not for just trying to save myself from 9 months of heartache and pain a year. For how else can this be done?

Chances are you don't know till you try~~~~



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Now playing: Vonda Shepard - Don't Think Twice, It's Alright
via FoxyTunes

HUMPH

Just because I'm in a particularly bad mood. Although it happened a long time ago, when I was coming back to Penang, I took my bags and I took it through that customs belt. It screened it and when I wheeled my trolley to the other side and while I was waiting for my bags - someone STOLE MY TROLLEY!

And it wasn't like my trolley was empty it had my hand carry bag on it!!! And some mindless asshole just took it off and wheeled it away and I had to chase him for it.

So because I am in a particularly foul mood today,

CURSE YOU TROLLEY STEALER! How dare you steal my trolley!



----------------
Now playing: Vonda Shepard - Reason To Believe
via FoxyTunes

PSP vs Nintendo DS

I remember wanting to buy a PSP cause you could download Sector 97 into it! I loved Sector 97. It was so funny. I stopped reading it a few episodes into it cause it just too long to download... Stuff like that is just not worth downloading on Malaysian connections. Though maybe it's just a Streamyx thing going on.

Still, I bought the Nintendo DS instead of the PSP and I can't be happier! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Nintendo DS Lite PINK COLOUR!!! The pink colour is just an added bonus! The Ds is just so cool! I mean, I predict I will spoil it soon cause sometimes I get so kan cheong and just slash away at the screen - haha.

The only problem now is I don't have any games to play anymore~~~ *sigh*

So since my birthday is coming up, I shall make an official wishlist here. People, please band together to buy me any of these ORIGINAL games. (Yes, I refuse to let them touch my DS and make it piratable. Such is my love for it.)

x Lock's Quest
x Professor Layton & the Curious Village
x Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
x Naruto 2 : Path of the Ninja
x Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

OK????? :D


I LOVE MY NDS~~~ *HEARTHEART*



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Now playing: Jacky Cheung & Gao Hui Jun - Ni Zui Zheng Gui
via FoxyTunes

Relax~~~ Take it easy~~~ For there is nothing that we can't do

Sometimes I feel that Malaysians and Asians are just too demanding of their kids. If their kids can't study, they are nothing in life. So cruel~~~ What about the kids with talent in making stuff and drawing and playing instruments or playing sports???

I mean, what is the whole point of forcing your child and pressuring him to be number one? I know a lot of people who weren't number one but just had supportive parents who made them study. Not too hard but just enough. Eventually they grew up to be really successful people. For smart is of course in born but hardworking is built.

For example, people keep saying that I am smart. But at this point, at 22, I no longer consider myself smart. For inborn smartness can only take you so far in life. After all if you are smart but are lazy, then aren't you stupid cause you don't work for what is easily obtainable?? So yes, kids are smart and some are not so smart but eventually when they grow up, smart becomes something you cultivate.

I just want to relax and no doing but this society and culture doesn't allow you to do so. For example, people i America are very impressed by my degree. But here, it is just another degree. Every other person has one. So it's time for you to get a job and earn more money than the next person. And don't think about 'exploring' and 'trying something new' for that is just wasting time. Do what you have studied. You will earn more money. Money is everything. That's why studying is everything.

Asians are sometimes so narrow minded. Not that I am being 'bothered' much but the Asian in me just doesn't settle. So annoying!

Atrocious!!

I just googled CGL for fun and found their website - official or not, God knows. Anyway there were some articles written there by what I assume is a schoolgirl and O.M.G. - It was simply atrocious!! I shadn't tell you which article it was or who wrote it but it was simply HORRIFIC!!

You know, maybe I've gotten a little old but if I'm not mistaken CGL used to be an unofficial English speaking school. To see such a horribly written article............ *speechless* SUCH HORRIBLE HORRIBLE GRAMMAR!!!! FROM A CGL-LIAN????

In that case, I am embarrassed to associate myself with that kind of 'product' from CGL. Cause as far as I remember, anyone in the position to write articles from CGL has substandard English....

Really! I'm so horrified.

P.S. Really no offense to the writer but it was really very very BASIC grammatical errors!! Geez... I can understand imperfect English but basic grammar mistakes = UNACCEPTABLE!!!!

How do you kill a crab??

So today we were just testing out the crab forks that I bought from America for my mommy. It suddenly led to a conversation of the old wife's tale - cooking the crab dead will cause illness.

Somehow cooking a live crab and boiling it to death seems very cruel to me.... (I personally force my mom to kill them first before cooking them.)

I decided to google it and try to find out the truth. The first answer I found said that a dead crab is much more susceptible to germs compared to a live crab. True that but if you kill the crab right before you cook it. It's instant death lar. How much germs do you think a crab can get in the 3 second interval of killing it and dropping it in the pot of boiling water???

Second, I found something that said that a crab has no nervous system so he can't feel anything even if you boil him alive. This I managed to find out is NOT TRUE. A crab has a nervous system and can feel when you boil him! Horrible. However, it is said that if you freeze a crab before boiling it, apparently the crab goes into 'hibernation' and slowly dies in his sleep peacefully.

Can you imagine if the crab really had no nervous system and was just boiled to death?? I wonder what he would be thinking??? Hmmm... Where am I? Why is there silver stuff all around me? Oooh shiny. I can see my reflection. Wow smoke. Is it getting hot in here??? I don't know cause I can't feel anything. Hey, what do you think is..... *drops dead*

Still, people, please please kill your crabs before cooking them. Just think about it - how would you like to be boiled to death???

International sons

If I married a Japanese, I'll name my first son Fujima Kenji after the basketball player.



My second son would be named Hatake Kakashi. My hamsap faceless ninja that always reads porn. But don't worry I will ban all sorts of porn from him. :D



And my third son would be named Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro! That's right. I'm not getting rid of the Captain. Though probably I won't put it on the birth cert... Hm.... Maybe Taisa Hitsugaya Toushiro? Oh wait. I'm marrying a Japanese. So I guess it will be Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro!



Woooh~ So cool! Can't stand it!!

Now if I took a German husband, my son would be named Edward Elric!! Yes, he's an anime character but Fullmetal Alchemist was set in the German time zone during the world war... Or at least, I have reached that conclusion from it.



And you can't possibly have Edward without having Roy Mustang! (Otherwise known as the fat Rukawa.) Although technically he was named after an airplane in world war II not so much he being German himself... Oh well... Ah, now my German fantasy is complete.



Now if I had a French guy, of course he would be named Louis! And if I had a choice I would name him Louis de Pointe du Lac regardless of what my French husband's name is. But that would be just awkward... *sigh* So I guess he will be just Louis. Yes, just Louis. Louis no last name. His last name is not 'no last name' but rather he would have no last name... I think you get my drift so....



And yes, I'm really well aware that it shows a picture of a super girly Brat of Pitts but the Louis in the book and in my mind is wayyyy cooler ok? So don't judge me! :(

Then of course, if you have a Louis how can you not have a Lestat? I mean, come on. Lestat de Lioncourt. Maybe I can't name him Lestat de Loincourt but I certainly can name him Lestat Lioncourt.



Yes do do me a favour and ignore the Tom Cruise-ness of that picture. Lestat is way cooler ok?

And my prince of prince Armand! Now I have no idea what Armand's last name is but perhaps I shall just name him Armand Santiago. :P Yeah right. Santiago is by far the worst vampire after Gabrielle! Oh I know! Armand Daniel~~~ Ah ha....! *end of random thoughts* Armand Daniel he shall be my third French son! :)



Once again do ignore the Antonio Banderas~ :)

OR perhaps I shall just be like Mr Louis-playing Brat of Pitts himself and adopt children from all over the world and have my own little one-from-each-continent collection though they are missing on the UK and Australia and Antartica... Maybe I should adopt a penguin??? I shall name him Thomas! AH ha!



*end randomness*

Ah, Kakashi, why must you die???????? You inspired me to do this you know... I'll miss you.... :(

I'm joking about Thomas btw... -_-